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Paris Paloma - labour [Official Video]

  • Published on Mar 22, 2023
  • labour | Available to listen or download here: parispaloma.ffm.to/labour
    Subscribe to Paris Paloma's X-vid channel: parispaloma.ffm.to/ytsubscribe
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    Lyrics (click/tap CC to see subtitles):
    Why are you hanging on
    So tight
    To the rope that I’m hanging from
    Off this island
    This was an escape plan
    Carefully timed it
    So let me go
    And dive into the waves below
    Who tends the orchards?
    Who fixes up the gables
    Emotional torture
    From the head of your high table
    Who fetches the water
    From the rocky mountain spring
    And walk back down again
    To feel your words and their sharp sting
    And I’m getting fucking tired
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody I thought was my saviour
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
    The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?
    And the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labour
    Apologies from my tongue
    Never yours
    Busy lapping from flowing cup
    And stabbing with your fork
    I know you’re a smart man
    And weaponise
    The false incompetence
    It’s dominance under guise
    If we had a daughter
    I’d watch and could not save her
    The emotional torture
    From the head of your high table
    She’d do what you taught her
    She’d meet the same cruel fate
    So now I’ve gotta run
    So I can undo this mistake
    At least I’ve gotta try
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died, would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody I thought was my saviour
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labour
    The calloused skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ends, would that be a bad thing?
    And the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labour
    All day, every day, therapist, mother, maid
    Nymph then virgin, nurse then a servant
    Just an appendage, live to attend him
    So that he never lifts a finger
    24/7 baby machine
    So he can live out his picket fence dreams
    It’s not an act of love if you make her
    You make me do too much labour
    Director: Adam Othman
    Producer: Giulia Lopes
    Director of Photography: Theo Brinch
    1st AC: Rafal Rakoczy
    Gaffer: Will Jessel
    BTS: Jamal Thomas
    Art Director: Paris Paloma
    Art Assistant: Morgan Bull
    Paris Paloma
    Henry Hayward

Comments • 8 117

  • Lux Luther
    Lux Luther 2 months ago +21882

    “So he never lifts a finger” can have two meanings. One, he never does work. Two, so he doesn’t hit.

    • Glen Gamble
      Glen Gamble 2 months ago +1246

      No, here it seems to have only one meaning, in context of the song-it’s called ‘labour’ and he ‘never lifts a finger’ to help. Period.

    • Autumn Rose
      Autumn Rose 2 months ago +1647

      It's whatever one interprets the song to be and what it means for that individual soul ..

    • Glen Gamble
      Glen Gamble 2 months ago +343

      @Autumn Rose nope. Words have meaning. And context.

    • Y A S H N Y
      Y A S H N Y 2 months ago +104

      The first one for sure

    • Queen ofBooks
      Queen ofBooks 2 months ago +1030

      or three, so he never points a finger and accuses, aka emotional labour

  • Egg
    Egg Month ago +2956

    A message to future generations: Don't let this song die

    • *snorts a line of lavender*
      *snorts a line of lavender* Month ago +6

      @donaven bruce why is this important rn?

    • Captain Firi
      Captain Firi Month ago +12

      ​@donaven bruce how about no

    • Otaku
      Otaku Month ago +6

      @donaven bruce okay Bruce of course of course, now let’s get u to bed

    • donaven bruce
      donaven bruce Month ago

      @Otaku of course of course, you cannot talk to a horse 🐴

    • Strawberry Sangria
      Strawberry Sangria Month ago +11

      @donaven bruce What exactly is your value? Big man go make money? Little ladies can do it too, and they can fold their own laundry. If that's all, then you aren't needed.

  • Emerickkie Ohlala
    Emerickkie Ohlala Month ago +9405

    As an Asian woman. This is what we were taught in our cultures. Be a girl in a set path, remain a virgin for your husband, be a good wife to warm his bed, be a baby maker to continue the bloodline, be the family's cook, be the family's maid and house keeper, be your husband's decoration so he could use you to brag to others. Time has change and things are getting better but there are still men and old people in our cultures who thinks of women as free slaves. All in the name of 'duty'.

    • Elizabeth Ukeh
      Elizabeth Ukeh Month ago +159

      I honestly don't mind doing all that for a loving man that provides my every need and want. But they don't exist

    • Emerickkie Ohlala
      Emerickkie Ohlala Month ago +694

      @ElizabethUkeh I think you're missing the point. It's not a choice for us, it's a chosen path by our parents and families and the people around our culture. If it's a choice then it's no problem but it isn't. Our women are groomed to be the perfect wife, daughter and basically a free modern slave. It's more than that

    • Avelin
      Avelin Month ago +201

      Not only asian cultures have that, we have something similar in all Eastern Europe:')

    • Joyce Joy
      Joyce Joy Month ago +28

      No money 💰 no honey 🍯

  • mushroomdance
    mushroomdance Month ago +7448

    To all the men who are mad in the comments :If this song/ music video makes you mad and defensive, you are the kind of man that she is singing about. You're seeing yourself mirrored in this fictional man, and you are angry about it because you are being told your behavior is wrong.

    • Francesca
      Francesca Month ago +650

      If youre offended by this song, you clearly doing something wrong .

    • Skoomq
      Skoomq Month ago +329

      Fr, they really gettin mad over a song which is pathetic

    • nobody
      nobody Month ago +129

      Men are jealous of women ,

  • Gaillin Ruiters
    Gaillin Ruiters Month ago +2219

    I'm not even a wife yet, not even a girlfriend, but this song took a chainsaw to my soul. Sitting here silently while my rage is simmering for every women going through this.

    • Michael
      Michael Month ago +5

      No one dares mention what the men go through

    • Cabitsuchild
      Cabitsuchild Month ago +130

      @Michael women aren’t in positions of power to change things for men. But everyone women I know agree things are bad for men too hence this song about Labour I for one would be more than happy to split chores and work full time the main problem being have the choice to do this I’ve met many men who have these picket fence dreams who don’t want their women to have equality- feminism helps men and women

    • Cut meh twice
      Cut meh twice Month ago +165

      @Michael Bro, why should women sing a song for us lmfao 💀. It’s our own fault anyways, since we were the one who created the goofy ahh standards anyway. Stop crying and go make a song if you’re so mad.

    • Drea
      Drea Month ago +112

      ​@Michael bet u never actually mention mens issues unless its to undermine womens😂

    • Strawberry Sangria
      Strawberry Sangria Month ago +68

      @Michael So, when's your song coming out, or did you want Paris Paloma to do that for you? You make her do too much labour!

  • DK
    DK Month ago +4771

    Can we just talk about how clever the line, “Nymph then a virgin” is like it just ties in the impossible standards that men have for women so perfectly. They are expected to have the bedroom experience of a nymph and be sexually arousing or seductive without ever actually having had sex before so they can still fulfil their sick fantasies of an untried virgin.
    Like, its all just so frustrating and impossible

    • antidote
      antidote Month ago +218

      Really on point. Nothing really has changed since medieval times, but now we got also entitled polygamists and pornculture and many pick me's enabling this depravity, saying it'd be empowering..

    • Bmoe
      Bmoe Month ago +11


    • bijira
      bijira Month ago +71

      ​Radfem Tahlia i certainly hope when you mean all misogyny you mean *all* misogyny, which includes the misogyny that targets our trans sisters

  • fozzyspots
    fozzyspots 2 months ago +12709

    this truly is a love letter to all the hundreds of millions of women who have lived and died, nameless and faceless and unappreciated, terrified and violated and unfulfilled, lonely and clever and murdered. we see you. we're sorry.

  • jennifervan75
    jennifervan75 Month ago +1296

    "So he never lifts a finger" has 3 meanings.
    1.That he never does any work.
    2.That he won't abuse her.
    3.That he won't acuse her. (Pointing)

  • kacie frost
    kacie frost 27 days ago +686

    My mom just left my abusive dad after 37 years of emotional torture, and I am beyond proud of her. I just sent this to her, if you see this mom, I love you!

    • May Life
      May Life 20 days ago +22

      Congratulations! I’m sure your mother is deserving of better. 🎉

    • Signe Andersen
      Signe Andersen 16 days ago +6

      You GO girl :D happy your out of thay

    • majasteinchen
      majasteinchen 16 days ago +12

      Hey, Kacies Mom!
      You are not alone! You can be proud of yourself.
      I wish you a lot of strength and love ❤

    • PcPlum X
      PcPlum X 9 days ago +10

      I'm currently trying to find the strength your mother had

    • matilda
      matilda 9 days ago +6

      @PcPlum X i have faith in you!!!

  • Anna Belle
    Anna Belle Month ago +2534

    1:55 "if we had a daughter i'd watch and could not save her" this part brings tears to my eyes every time i listen

    • cutiepie nico
      cutiepie nico Month ago +41

      Same cried when first heared that line hit me hard😢

    • Word Woman
      Word Woman 29 days ago +60

      I am that daughter. I saved myself. But my mom still cried when I pointed it out in adulthood and she realized what growing up under my father's thumb was actually like.

    • Alex Whyley
      Alex Whyley 22 days ago +14

      @Word WomanSammmmmme. That part made me sob instantly soon as I heard it. So sad and cruel that it’s such a universal experience so many wives and daughters can relate to.

    • Kanak Sikarwar
      Kanak Sikarwar 20 days ago +2

      Actually they can save bit they choose not to! That's how times are changing. The more you support your daughter the more you are saving her from all of this.

    • Georgia Lear
      Georgia Lear 19 days ago +11

      This hit me hard too. I left. I wasn’t going to watch my daughter grow up thinking how I was being treated was anywhere near okay. That the example for her would to be bullied, beaten down, insulted, gaslit, manipulated, tricked and deceived while I worked my ass off to look after a man child. It wasn’t happening. I cut my losses for her sake and I thank god every day that I did.

  • xPrincessGarnetXVI
    xPrincessGarnetXVI Month ago +467

    I love how the song is introduced with this eloquent and poetic tongue and then right before the chorus she breaks out of it and goes "and I'm getting fucking tired."
    The shift is so perfect, so spicy and beautiful.
    It's just another aspect placed on women she is breaking away from - that swearing and speaking aggressively or speaking out in general is not seen as "lady-like."
    This woman is an absolute genius.

  • Lorelei
    Lorelei Month ago +3381

    I love the double meaning of "so he never lifts a finger", but I love even more that it's only implied. This song doesn't have to just be about someone who's deliberately, physically abusive. It can also be about the average husband, the generally "nice" guy to whom it doesn't even _occur_ how unbalanced the relationship has become. He takes care of the kids sometimes (maybe once or twice a week), he does other chores (as long as she neatly keeps track of which chores are His, asks him nicely, and patiently waits for him to do them on his timetable), he even cooks dinner from time to time (when the wife buys all the ingredients he needs for him). He's not violent, and he doesn't have to be. Society's programming has worked the violence for him so efficiently he doesn't even have to be aware it's there.
    When I say "average husband", by the way, I mean statistically--the numbers show that women in straight relationships are disproportionately responsible for the housework and childcare, even when they _also_ have a job. If you're a man, and this song doesn't apply to you, that's awesome that you and your partner have a healthier dynamic! And if this song does, well, this is a great opportunity to take the initiative in fixing things. "Taking the initiative" is one of the heaviest burdens to bear in housework; don't put that on her, too.
    EDIT: I didn't like how I referred to physical abusers as "cartoon abusers", nor how I tried to declare what the song was "about", so I edited those lines to be a bit clearer about what I meant.

    • Lorelei
      Lorelei Month ago +75

      (When I say "straight relationships", I don't mean just straight partners involved. As a bi girl, I could wind up in the exact same boat if I started dating guys.)

    • Jeanne D'arc
      Jeanne D'arc Month ago +104

      Thank you for pointing out that this song is talking about a sadly pretty common situation !
      I think a lot of men who will listen to this song will not even realise they have some of these behaviours because it's so ingraved in us (men and women) the patriarchal roles that we don't even realise the relationship is unbalanced and toxic, we just think it's the norm

    • Sarah K
      Sarah K Month ago +69

      I lowkey just had an epiphany. My boyfriends love language came back as acts of service, so I try to do some extra things to help around his place. We don’t live together, but sometimes I’ll do little things for him like the dishes or taking out the trash and other stuff. For that being his main love language I’ve always thought that he wasn’t as expressive with his gratitude as he would be for it to be his #1 way others can show him love. Sometimes I have to even point it out (which I can understand like the trash or dishes cause he has a room mate so he may think it’s just him doing it, but other things that I do are obvious that I would be the only that did it, and it’s weird you have to point it out sometimes.) now I’m thinking that subconsciously that that is just what he expects/thinks I’m supposed to do since I’m the women in the relationship so even it’s not a big deal that I go out of my way to make his life a little easier cause that’s what I should be doing. That’s not a lot language than, that’s just what society tells men were supposed to do and they expect it so they’re not gonna to say thank you if you do it. Wtf I’m spiraling now

    • Lorelei
      Lorelei Month ago +36

      @Sarah K Oh, gosh, from what I've heard, the whole love language thing is sort of hack relationship science. I hope you can work that out with him, because it sounds like it really sucks feeling unappreciated like that!

    • Ultra Violet
      Ultra Violet Month ago +13

      Violent husbands, unfortunately are not atypical.

  • Ari
    Ari 2 months ago +31185

    this is absolutely a love letter to women throughout history. as historian rosalind miles points out: part of the reason men were at the forefront of so much innovation throughout history isn’t just because of lack of education for women, but because they were free to do more with their time as women were carrying most domestic and emotional labour in the home.

    • Ashley Underwood
      Ashley Underwood 2 months ago +332


    • Michelle Tierney
      Michelle Tierney 2 months ago +87

      Who cooked Adam smiths dinner 📖

    • Aili Marie
      Aili Marie 2 months ago +542

      @Michelle Tierney His mom. he wrote his book while living in his mom's house

  • Lyra Chan
    Lyra Chan Month ago +197

    The pomegranate symbolism is powerful. This fruit represent fertility, marriage and desire but it can also represent death and feminine independence.

    • Ashley Speirs
      Ashley Speirs Month ago +16

      Yes! I see it as her eating her own six seeds. She’s committing to herself which is how she can disappear. She’s committed to her world. English teachers are gonna have a time with this! Haha

  • chloee
    chloee Month ago +867

    My mother blasts this in the car when my father is also in the car. The look on his face is always priceless. Still waiting for them to get the divorce papers over with.

    • Kobain Peep
      Kobain Peep Month ago +50

      Sounds totally healthy 😅 great 👍

    • Nick
      Nick 28 days ago +3

      Yeah thats stupid

    • Run Around
      Run Around 27 days ago +1

      you are sick

    • Aloe Vera
      Aloe Vera 27 days ago +52

      Good on your mom, I hope this isn't too hard on you

    • Kitty Squad
      Kitty Squad 26 days ago +29

      @Kobain Peep He should act right.

  • Ewelina L.
    Ewelina L. 14 days ago +34

    Young girls, do not marry....do not let them to destroy your life 😢

    • Common Being 🪄
      Common Being 🪄 14 days ago +4

      Thank u❤‍🩹

    • Tracy L.
      Tracy L. 21 hour ago +1

      yes for the love of your soul ...never allow a man to be above you, be the raging queen that you are

    • Leeza Bing
      Leeza Bing 14 hours ago +3

      I would like to rephrase as someone who married the wrong man and then the right one. Wait for the one that will not put you down and do anything for you and his family, if you so choose. They are out there, don't count it out completely. My husband before wanted the submissive slave wife. My husband now let's me do anything as long as I'm happy.

  • It’s whatever
    It’s whatever Month ago +176

    I love the line “Apologies for my tongue, but never yours” because women are expected to be quiet and submissive, not loud and outspoken like men. But the line also sounds like it could be “Apologies from my tongue” as women feel like they have to apologize for every little thing while men get a free pass. Simply amazing lyrics.

    • Amy R
      Amy R 17 hours ago

      This song has so many lines that hit you like a sack of bricks that it's easy to miss some of them like this one here. Thank you for pointing it out.

  • Smulenify
    Smulenify Month ago +667

    For some reason this made me think of a Norwegian folktale I haven't heard since I was a child. There is a husband who is always angry and constantly complains about his wife not doing enough at home; so one night the wife offers to switch places the next day, and the husband happily agrees. It goes terrible and the wife eventually comes home to find him stuck upside down in the porridge pot.
    I used to love hearing it as a kid, a grumpy man who gets taught a lesson and all. Now however it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as I see how deep of an issue it still is today.

    • Jeanne D'arc
      Jeanne D'arc Month ago +6

      Do this folktail has a name ?

    • Smulenify
      Smulenify Month ago +60

      @Jeanne D'arc "Mannen som skulle stelle hjemme" is one of the names, it translates to "the man who was supposed to take care of the home".

    • Jeanne D'arc
      Jeanne D'arc Month ago +8

      @Smulenify Thank you !

    • Shipper trash
      Shipper trash 8 days ago +11

      The most unbeliaveable part is the husband agreeing to try this

  • Olivia Sonell
    Olivia Sonell 2 months ago +6499

    I love how this isn't about a physically abusive relationship but about how the labour demanded of women by patriarchs kills us.

    • Hassan Al Khalaf
      Hassan Al Khalaf 2 months ago +45

      And men don't do labour at all? They're all day up to work and get you the money for your house. Both do equal work yet men don't complain about it. Unless there isn't a physical abusive relationship no need to cry

    • Tiana
      Tiana 2 months ago +793

      @Hassan Al Khalaf Are you seriously run to You Tube, click on this particular song, scroll down dozens of comments just to say this? I thought men like you are "all day up to work" so what are you doing here? Also this song is direct toward the type of men who wants to "never lift a finger" so if you're not that type of men, "no need to cry".

    • A
      A 2 months ago +721

      @Hassan Al Khalaf it’s not equal work. There are many, many studies on how it’s not equal work. If it was equal work, it wouldn’t be so common to have men sitting enjoying themselves at every family gathering while the women are slaving in the kitchen. If it was equal work, my mother wouldn’t have to spend her whole Ramadan cooking while fasting to serve the iftar that the men expect, while they waltz in at the last minute after a whole day of doing nothing just to devour the fruits of a whole day’s labour in mere minutes without so much as a thank you. When you say things like that, you are disrespecting your mother.

    • Teagan
      Teagan 2 months ago +399

      @Hassan Al Khalaf Notice how no one agrees with you? Embarrassing.

  • Nafissa Mouloudi
    Nafissa Mouloudi Month ago +270

    This is to my grandmother, a delicate elegant lady, a true artist who was married off at 12 to a 27y old cave man .
    And to my great grandmother, a 14y old slave who died giving birth , and no one remembers her name because she didn't even speak their language 😢.
    * I can now paint , hike , say no to marriage, become a doctor , take dancing classes , have my own money ...
    Thank u for the sacrifices❤

    • Harley Loraine
      Harley Loraine 17 hours ago +3

      Your grandmother and great grandmother would be so happy to hear that 🥺😢

    • Gie
      Gie 22 minutes ago

      Yes! Their sacrifices aren't in vain. ❤

  • Ambition
    Ambition 21 day ago +38


  • Humble pie and I
    Humble pie and I 21 day ago +135

    At the prompting of this song I evicted my abusive ex from my home. At the prompting of this song I moved his stuff out. Never have I felt such power. The echo of "too much labour"
    It took a year to get him out and he was EVERYTHING in this song right down to the grooming of his son to be exactly as he is. No matter what I did I was drowning in all of it.

  • missiworld
    missiworld 17 days ago +128

    I had a baby a few months ago, and nobody prepares you for how incredibly true all of this is once the baby arrives. All of the hidden labor that you already did is multiplied by 100, and things you need help with that should be absolutely obvious are all up to you. It is lonely, isolating, and infuriating.

    • Sophia Purcell-Green
      Sophia Purcell-Green 16 days ago +13

      The feelings associated with asking for help makes being a single mum so much harder, because there’s shame (for whatever reason) associated with recognising that it takes a community to raise a child.

  • MooCowKris
    MooCowKris Month ago +238

    I wonder what it feels like knowing you wrote a song that so perfectly encapsulates the rage and sadness of generations of women.

  • Nik
    Nik 2 months ago +9661

    The symbolism of her lighting her candle and watching it burn down while his is unlit and barely touched is perfect

    • Annika Maaß
      Annika Maaß 2 months ago +102

      I was just about to comment on that, its really such a cool detail!!

    • fallen_star2319
      fallen_star2319 2 months ago +297

      Add in that al the ones in his view are perfectly fine, while hers are starting to burn out? The one symbolizing her burns out entirely, the one representing him is never lit. But the surrounding candles, symbolizing work and effort?
      His are half tall, still easily burning. Hers are almost at their ends - she is completely burnt out in herself and from the excess work that she does for him, while he doesn't need to exert himself in nearly the same fashion.
      It's a smaller detail, but a really nice one.

    • Garima Bajaj
      Garima Bajaj Month ago +21

      oh my god, wow. this made me think so much.

    • Paige Larrabee
      Paige Larrabee Month ago +45

      Her candle seems to symbolize patience. Her fuse must get lit every mealtime. Even if he isn't there and away at work. She toils over everything and so it has been eroded to the point of an escape plan.

    • bleepbloopbloop
      bleepbloopbloop Month ago +9

      Like she loved and unloved, but he never learnt to love. Idk.

  • ema g. lee
    ema g. lee Month ago +473

    As a 16 year old hispanic girl- this song is so important to me. This is the life so many women in my family died living- and the mindset i still experience from the men in my family. And when i say that as soon as i turn 18 I'm leaving it- i mean it. The generations of women being trapped in this born and raised system of serving toxic and abusive men ends with me. And it's going to be hard- leaving my mom, my sister, my grandma- but I will never let my daughters and her children feel as worthless as the women in my family do. My daughter will live with a voice, that we didn't have before - and i won't have to apologize for giving her that life like my mother apologized to me. Her name, and her blood, won't trap her like it has me.

    • Rebekah Rutledge
      Rebekah Rutledge Month ago +25

      You have such amazing bravery! I turned 17 a few weeks ago. 18 will come quicker than you realize. I hope you are able to make a good plan so you can escape. Know that I have 100% confidence in you. ❤❤❤ Be brave!

    • Cleo
      Cleo Month ago +7

      all love to you

    • RaspFor 01
      RaspFor 01 15 days ago +1

      So many women in your family died SURVIVING, not living. Living is having a voice and being able to do things on your own. But as an eldest Hispanic daughter, this hit so hard, you have a lot more bravery than I do, and I hope that you go on to do amazing things, and have a voice that overpowers any man. Just know that a lot of women are rooting for you.

    • Justina Solomon they\them
      Justina Solomon they\them 13 days ago

      I have confidence in you. I know you'll find the bravery to escape. You can apply to a college elsewhere.

    • Teddy Bear
      Teddy Bear 6 days ago

      Bringing someone to life simply because you want it that way is selfish, you would have to ask for their forgiveness anyway; by bringing someone into this world that implies that that someone is going to die, get sick, decay, feel and experience many negative things (including monotony or dissatisfaction) and harm other people and living beings, without counting the carbon footprint they are going to leave.
      You're not very smart.

  • Angel A.
    Angel A. Month ago +417

    THIS SONG HITS ALL WOMEN RIGHT IN OUR MITOCHONDRIAL 🧬 DNA( the one only mothers pass down) listening to this song you can feel the vibrations of the women in the past through this….

    • Kobain Peep
      Kobain Peep Month ago


    • hana
      hana Month ago +2

      no, no... i get you.

    • Very Evil Radfem
      Very Evil Radfem 9 days ago

    • That Cottagecore Witch
      That Cottagecore Witch 8 days ago +2

      I’m a trans man and it still hits lol

    • Sea Bunni
      Sea Bunni Day ago

      I can feel it, I can feel all the rage and sadness of generations of women. It's not fair how we're treated, I don't get what we did to deserve all the awful things we as women go through.

  • Sadie McNabb
    Sadie McNabb 25 days ago +89

    I'm so into this song lately. My daughter is into it too. Such a great message. My husband/her father sure does a lot to support us. He cooks, cleans, does everything that needs attending to, plus working a full time job. I became chronically ill after our third child and he stepped up so hard. He's my hero. If anyone's doing too much labor, it's him. But that's not the norm. Do better menfolk. Be like my husband. Step. Up.

  • arcane
    arcane Month ago +167

    Seeing all these women from different cultures speaking about this is amazing, as an Afghan woman my culture literally treats women and girls this way but the girls are too blind to speak out against it.

  • Lia Hamilton
    Lia Hamilton Month ago +242

    Yesterday after two years of emotional and physical abuse i took our 12 day old daughter and left

    • Sam Humphreys
      Sam Humphreys Month ago +36

      I wish you guys the best, stay strong

    • Haristudytube
      Haristudytube Month ago +27

      you are very strong. It takes a lot of courage to take this step. I wish my mother had done this for me. Thank you for saving yourself and your child.

    • raydar
      raydar Month ago +14


    • Julia Micha
      Julia Micha Month ago +10

      I wish you the best. You're so brave

    • Movie Clips
      Movie Clips 18 days ago +4

      I wish I had the guts as you. I want to leave my husband take my 5year old son with me. 13 years with this man. I'm done

  • Tanya Darling
    Tanya Darling 2 months ago +4749

    I love that we don't see her face at the start, like how many women have lived and continue to live as faceless, nameless entities, whose work is never acknowledged as theirs - I love this song for so beautifully expressing both power and grief

    • Angy Moreno
      Angy Moreno 2 months ago +25

      i was thinking this too!!

    • Silver Alpha
      Silver Alpha Month ago +5

      Idk why this reminded me of Rosalind Franklin...

    • Pattern Recon
      Pattern Recon Month ago +1

      Loxist subversion
      Kalergi plan
      Minimum replacement birth rate: 2.1
      Israel birth rate: 3.00
      EU birth rate: 1.53
      Canada birth rate: 1.47
      USA birth rate: 1.70
      Australia birth rate: 1.66
      Russia birth rate: 1.50
      Ukraine birth rate: 1.23
      Moldova: 1.28
      Belarus: 1.38
      Serbia: 1.48
      Bulgaria: 1.56
      Romania: 1.60
      Albania: 1.58

    • Eclipsiscv
      Eclipsiscv Month ago +3

      It reminds me of a line from “Whatever you want” by Vienna Teng - “she’s just a dress wearing a face in the doorway.”

  • Fallon Keel
    Fallon Keel 18 days ago +44

    Why are you hanging on
    So tight
    To the rope that I'm hanging from
    Off this island?
    This was an escape plan (this was an escape plan)
    Carefully timed it so that we'd go
    And dive into the waves below
    Who tends the orchards?
    Who fixes up the gables?
    Emotional torture
    From the head of your high table
    Who fetches the water
    From the rocky mountain spring?
    And walk back down again
    To feel your words and their sharp sting?
    And I'm getting fucking tired
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody that I thought was my savior
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
    The callous skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ends would that be a bad thing?
    And the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labor
    Apologies from my tongue
    And never yours
    Busy lapping from flowing cup
    And stabbing with your fork
    I know you're a smart man
    (I know you're a smart man)
    And weaponize the false incompetence
    It's dominance under a guise
    If we had a daughter
    I'd watch and could not save her
    The emotional torture
    From the head of your high table
    She'd do what you taught her
    She'd meet the same cruel fate
    So now I've gotta run
    So I can undo this mistake
    At least I've gotta try
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody that I thought was my savior
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
    The callous skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ends would that be a bad thing?
    And the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labor
    All day, every day
    Therapist, mother, maid
    Nymph then a virgin, nurse than a servant
    Just an appendage, live to attend him
    So that he never lifts a finger
    Twenty-four seven, baby machine
    So he can live out his picket fence dreams
    It's not an act of love if you make her
    You make me do too much labor
    All day, every day
    Therapist, mother, maid
    Nymph then a virgin, nurse than a servant
    Just an appendage, live to attend him
    So that he never lifts a finger
    Twenty-four seven, baby machine
    So he can live out his picket fence dreams
    It's not an act of love if you make her
    You make me do too much labor
    The capillaries in my eyes are bursting
    If our love died would that be the worst thing?
    For somebody that I thought was my savior
    You sure make me do a whole lot of labor
    The callous skin on my hands is cracking
    If our love ends would that be a bad thing?
    And the silence haunts our bed chamber
    You make me do too much labor

  • Paige Billie
    Paige Billie Month ago +104

    You created not only a song , it's a spell and a call for all women all around the world. So thank you for speaking your heart and soul. THIS IS A MASTERPIECE

  • Amanda Uchiha
    Amanda Uchiha Month ago +454

    I also like the "nymph, then a virgin" line because as women we are expected to be craving our men, but if we vocalize things like how we WANT to be pleasured, we are silenced because men either can't handle being inadequate or we are literally just baby machines that shouldn't feel anything other than what men want us to feel and be readily available for their "basic human need". And then after it all parade us around like a matron saint of purity in the public to their peers and we are to remain quiet after having an unfulfilled sex life(i only ever had sex with one man for 7 years and he never made me orgasm), possible kids we didn't want (thank God I don't have any), and a public image we have to maintain unless we be seen as slutty or inappropriate even though men do the same and are celebrated. And then if we aren't in the mood, we are the bad ones (even if the aforementioned man made me sick everytime he had sex with me and when I wanted to prioritize my life after he hospitalized me several times with varying levels of bad infections, I'M irrational and that justified him to rape me.) This line and the "it isn't love if you make her" makes me feel heard and like I can hear the hurt of all women through time that felt similar (especially ones like myself that was in a misogynistic cult/religion and a bad relationship that ended worse.) I love this song so much and thank you for making it and giving women a voice that can't be silenced anymore!

    • Ame
      Ame Month ago +20

      I hope you're in a safer and more fulfilling place now ❤ screw being prim and polished trying to be perfect for the male and sexist gaze, we are allowed to be more, to be bold, loud, sexual, taking ownership of our bodies.

    • Amanda Uchiha
      Amanda Uchiha Month ago +23

      ​@Ame yes, exactly! I am in a much more stable place now and not ashamed of myself anymore, nor am I going to cheat myself out of good relationships because of an awful one that almost cost me my life in more ways than one! Sexism and racism and abuse have no place in my life and this song makes me see how far I came from being the quiet girl who was afraid to stand up for myself and how much more I empathize and am glad that even if it isn't right away, our voices get louder and one by one we can all make a way better for ourselves and those around us!

    • Amanda Uchiha
      Amanda Uchiha Month ago +15

      Also, not all men are the way I described, just a specific ex of mine and a religious cult's misogynistic ideologies in particular. The men in my life now are amazing and I am glad they are there for me as well and prove that not everyone in this world is a bad person and you may sift though coal, but you will find the diamonds!

    • Wolves
      Wolves Month ago +5

      Exactly 👏

    • Justicar Tiberius
      Justicar Tiberius 12 days ago +1

      I'm sorry for your experiences. I hope that your life has changed drastically.

  • SeffySef
    SeffySef Month ago +122

    This is why I’m so grateful to have the parents I do. My dad broke the standard he was raised with. It’s always been equal work, if my mom is tired my dad will cook, if my dad is tired my mom will. My dad raised us as much as my mom did, he helped around the house as much as she did. There were no expectations for her that he wouldn’t do himself. They both taught my sister and I that we deserve to be treated as equals, and anyone who try’s to treat us any less is not worth our time.
    My parents broke the standard and taught us to do the same

    • danielletracyann
      danielletracyann Month ago +12

      My parents were the same. I think it’s more common than we think. I am in a marriage like this sadly. I chose very wrong.

    • The Squirrel
      The Squirrel 19 days ago +4

      Love this. More people need to recognize that this should be the standard so we move forward

  • HayA
    HayA Month ago +167

    i’m a saudi women i cried so much listening to this song

    • SunDarling369
      SunDarling369 16 hours ago

      My mom was born in Saudi Arabia, as well as her sisters and brother. Her mom was born in Pakistan and moved to Saudi Arabia when she married my abusive nana.
      My mom was the first to leave, she escaped to America. And later her siblings and mom followed.
      She escaped and saved herself and me. But the trauma will always be there, it tore through the generations of the family and even though I was born free it didn't stop. I'm crying those tears with you

  • Gemma
    Gemma 2 months ago +4062

    This song just epitomises how women's roles are consistently delegitimised. Even the stereotypical housewife is not seen as real 'labour'. Cooking, cleaning, managing the home, taking care of the children is a job. Just because it's not paid, it's seen as somehow 'worth less'. Stunning.

    • L W
      L W 2 months ago +36

      ​@Hassan Al Khalaf "Under a man" is a telling choice of words and sounds miserable by any metric. The women I know were/are housewives and mothers see it as more of a partnership if he's earning.

    • L W
      L W 2 months ago +59

      ​@Hassan Al Khalaf I think most people argue that because its a risk. If I had a daughter, I would want her to ensure she still had work history, experience and references to fall back on if her marriage didn't work out. And that she wasn't financially dependent etc.

    • Hassan Al Khalaf
      Hassan Al Khalaf 2 months ago +5

      @L W that's a valid point.

  • Trixie
    Trixie Month ago +318

    For all the men saying "we men go through stuff too"
    Did we say you don't? This particular video is about women.
    And also another thing I'd like to add is, women, ourselves talk about OUR problems and bring attention to them OURSELVES. Everytime you see someone talk about womens issues, they are most likely women themselves. There are plenty of men that do support us but there are plenty of women that support you guys too! If you want to bring more attention to talk about YOUR problems, do it yourself.

    • Henry Jackson
      Henry Jackson Month ago +4

      Men can't tho, else they're called weak. You honestly think if a man did a song like this they'd have such support? No way in hell

    • Treethateatsbees
      Treethateatsbees Month ago +59

      @Henry Jackson Have you seen any of those videos like those of the "man SCHOOLS feminist modern women" type? It's FULL of people validating men's struggles. Make your own goddamn song. Fight your own goddamn fight. You think men support women?

    • Trixie
      Trixie Month ago +31

      @Henry Jackson maybe it's just the neighborhood I live in but EVERY single women I've met is so amazingly understanding, we all gather up and have debates in our college, and we all support men! We always talk about social issues and by discussing this is how I got the point that women usually talk about our problems ourselves. I've never seen a women call a man weak for showing any type of emotion or crying in contrast to men calling EACH other weak because they saw the other cry and I've seen bullying happen ever since i was a kid! I will definitely admit there are many women who do also make fun of yall if yall show emotion or talk about your problems but so do we. Have you seen these comments? ANY video about women's struggles has hate comments on them. Hate comments are inevitable. Men should support each other and build a safe space where yall can talk about your problems and most women I know are sympathetic and will most certainly support you guys. I will too.

  • jessie mayfield
    jessie mayfield 19 days ago +63

    I love the line ‘it’s not an act of love if you make her’ referring to marital/relationship sexual assault blending perfectly into her complaint of being forced to do and be too many things. It’s subtle but important

  • Sofia Cuka
    Sofia Cuka Month ago +126

    Maybe this is just me, but the fact that the beginning was very mumbly and then grows to be more clear would have such a deep meaning. Incredible.

  • Nonbinary August
    Nonbinary August 22 days ago +31

    “It’s not an act of love if you make her.”
    Can we just talk about inclusive this lyric is? It includes women that have survived hundreds of different backgrounds and undergo mass amounts of trauma, bringing it into light in a song that has almost 10 million (as of now) views. Fucking genius.

  • CallmeSai
    CallmeSai 26 days ago +61

    As a man, I absolutely love this song. Had me in tears a few times.

  • Lucrezia Benelli
    Lucrezia Benelli 2 months ago +3769

    This song is like 1000 times better than I could’ve ever imagined. It really captures the feeling of being a woman during all History. It has such feminine rage that we can all feel it through the screen

    • ilse de vries
      ilse de vries 2 months ago +36

      Have you heard her song 'fruits' ? It is also a lot of femine rage combined with witch vibes

    • Lucrezia Benelli
      Lucrezia Benelli 2 months ago +17

      @ilse de vries I actually did. Thanks to TikTok I did a tour of all her music, and I’m utterly in love with “fruits”. But thank you anyway for the suggestion ☺️

    • Ace Hernandez
      Ace Hernandez 2 months ago +19

      I totally agree and I also want to point out to support your statement that when she's eating the pomegranate, it splatters and it stains her fingers and chin. It resembles blood and the eaten pomegranate bears a scary resemblance to organs. I think that part really exemplifies the female rage that the video is projecting where she's so angry from the mistreatment that her husband shows her and that's a murder stare if I've ever seen one.

    • Lucrezia Benelli
      Lucrezia Benelli 2 months ago +6

      @Ace Hernandez Yes, I totally see what you’re saying. I also loved that she seemed to enjoy eating the pomegranate, and with that regain the power she lost while with him, and “freaking him out”

    • Dame Pasty
      Dame Pasty 2 months ago +2

      ​@Lucrezia Benelli I have heard that the fruit that Eve actually ate that got her and Adam kicked out of the garden of Eden was mistranslated as an apple. They say it was more likely a pomegranate.

  • TheDolphace
    TheDolphace Month ago +36

    If you're a man and feel attacked by the words of this song, you probably are part of the problem.
    Reflection and change is healing, you can do it

  • yellowpinkgreengreen
    yellowpinkgreengreen 22 days ago +24

    Men are mad because they realize we were never happy to do these things and this song dispels any illusions they may have had otherwise.

  • Marwa Mohammed Abdeltawab
    Marwa Mohammed Abdeltawab 24 days ago +99

    I’m currently trying to escape one these relationships for the sake of my unborn daughter… this song really did hit home for me..

    • xx
      xx 20 days ago +7

      I wish you good luck, you are a great mother.

    • SonOfAPotato
      SonOfAPotato 4 days ago +1

      Good luck, I hope all goes well for you and your child

    • ;-;
      ;-; 2 days ago +1

      I’m sure you’ll do great as a parent and hope you get out of your present situation. I wish you the best of luck and that you stay strong!

  • CbeastO
    CbeastO  29 days ago +46

    My mum sent me this, told me dont ever overwork yourself for your husband, dont let him sit there while you do everything

  • Dr-Spencer-Reid
    Dr-Spencer-Reid Month ago +52

    "Its not an act of love if you make her" more ppl need to hear that

  • IB
    IB 2 months ago +17449

    I’m so glad it’s 4 minutes long. Most people create tiktok hype for just 2 minute songs but this was just beautiful.

    • Red Lake
      Red Lake 2 months ago +75

      Came here to say this!!

    • Dren Draleigh
      Dren Draleigh 2 months ago +467

      It's 4 minutes and somehow I still think it's too short so I listen on repeat

    • Sv Vr
      Sv Vr 2 months ago +140

      listen to her other songs. I had no doubt it'd be good cause she's actually a talented musician

    • Sarah
      Sarah 2 months ago +158

      It's so refreshing seeing a song that's even better whole than just its viral tiktok hook

    • Rose M
      Rose M 2 months ago +61

      the people who make the song arent the same that "create" tiktok hype, a single person doesnt have control on how popular something they post will be. i'm glad y'all arent dissapointed, but i hope you dont give other indenpendant artists a hard time when their song preview doesnt live up to the hype they have no control over

  • Danielle Ahrak
    Danielle Ahrak 7 days ago +6

    The lyrics are incredible. I love how the word labor can mean both work and giving birth. "The capillaries in my eyes are bursting" connects so well both to giving birth and "the rope I'm hanging from". This is a masterpiece.

  • Alex Parker
    Alex Parker 18 days ago +42

    Despite having never been in a relationship I feel her rage, its like a fire. Never let this song die, ever

  • Coraline
    Coraline Month ago +62

    "Love letter to women throughout history" as someone quoted in another comment and rightfully so! A masterpiece of a song highlighting women's role for centuries, the suffering and pain they went through. How grateful to be in a time now that gives us rights and freedom, all thanks to other women who fought for it with some even sacrificing themselves for it. ❤

  • KnoeledgeWave
    KnoeledgeWave 15 days ago +32

    As someone who has been fully transitioned to a man for over four years now, this song has put an anger in me for all the woman who came before me, and all the woman who continue to be forced to live in this condition. I never quite thought I’d feel this type of anger again, and it’s still just as frustrating to remember.

    • brick kold
      brick kold 13 days ago +3

      Thank you so much for saying this. It says a lot that your body knows and remembers this pain.

  • Alexandra Kocúrová
    Alexandra Kocúrová Month ago +59

    I never in my life experienced this kind of torture but I can just feel it. The sadness the anger all of the emotions from this song that women experienced throughout the history.

    • Clefarts
      Clefarts Month ago +9

      Sadly, it isn’t just throughout history. It happens nowadays as well. When I first heard this song, it leveled me. Nothing had so perfectly described how I felt in my past abusive relationships.

  • Audrey Dahlman
    Audrey Dahlman Month ago +3736

    I absolutely love the symbolism in her choosing to eat a pomegranate. Pomegranates are used in so many ways in different religions and myths, but in every single one it is a symbol of womanhood, rebirth, or something of the sort. It’s such a powerful choice to use that as she eats in rebellion.

    • BunnyHop
      BunnyHop Month ago +23

      Thx. I didn't know that

    • Aaron Paul Dy Lusanta
      Aaron Paul Dy Lusanta Month ago +148

      The immediate thing that came to my mind was Persephone who was a captive of Hades, she is usually represented by pomegranates

    • mária kara
      mária kara Month ago +18

      yaaa also fertility i think ive heard

    • Andii Hú
      Andii Hú Month ago +63

      I like to think of it as her casting herself into hell to escape him! The pomegranate in Greek mythology is what kept Persephone from her mother in the underworld!

    • Ashley N
      Ashley N Month ago +47

      The Bible never actually names the fruit in the Garden of Eden. While Western tradition has the fruit as an apple they aren’t indigenous to the Middle East. A pomegranate would make more sense.

  • Chamomile
    Chamomile 20 days ago +34

    Left a relationship where his mother wanted me to be all these things, and he was so proud she was forcing this down my throat.
    That’s really putting it in a “long story short” format… but man, this song makes me want to roar into the sky until god himself shutters from the shriek in my lungs.

  • Bibidi babidi Bruh
    Bibidi babidi Bruh Month ago +84

    To the people who disagree/degrade her messenge...
    Congratulations, You have just proved her point

  • Maddie Barnes
    Maddie Barnes Month ago +16

    As a 20 odd year old woman who was exposed to sexism, domestic violence and assault from as young as 5 - thank you for this.

  • Min Alves
    Min Alves 23 days ago +22

    I see much of my mother in these lyrics. Glad that she broke up with my father. And glad that I'm breaking the vicious circle ✊

    • 🌷 liyuu
      🌷 liyuu 15 days ago +3

      i see my mother in these lyrics too. my heart bleeds watching this happen and not being able to do anything. my father is bigger and stronger than me but i try to yell at him when i can. my mother threw away her whole life for us.

  • Sera Pekkala
    Sera Pekkala Month ago +23

    Shout out to Henry Hayward, who manages to project such a perfect air of quiet arrogance without saying a word! This video is so well acted and shot in addition to being a banger.

  • Nikolett Perédi
    Nikolett Perédi 2 months ago +12267

    The feeling I get from this song is so ancient and so deep, I feel like all the rage from thousands of years of oppression to the women of all history is united into this song and it's incredibly powerful

    • Jade
      Jade 2 months ago +187

      This comment!! I don’t personally relate but I’m sitting here soaked in tears from just thousands of years of female rage. 💔❤️

    • Miss Nikki Parker
      Miss Nikki Parker 2 months ago +26

      @Jade Truly same.

    • Juliana Mae
      Juliana Mae 2 months ago +32

      exactly what I felt too, well put

    • Aleksandra
      Aleksandra 2 months ago +31

      Me too, I'm actually in opposite situation as my husband is doing most of the the labor (except emotional) as I'm chronically ill and unemployed.
      (and we had ~equal share before I started having health issues)
      But historical and contemporary examples are so heartbreaking, PLUS, all the future daughters (and sons) that are internalizing that as normal, I'm envisioning
      and this song is bringing all the emotions up...

  • saryenn
    saryenn 24 days ago +35

    In case you're curious about the comments (at this point 7,231) here's the gist:
    - People particularly loved : the candle part, the pomegranate (with plenty of good pointers on its symbolism), the kids singing the chorus and that part `it's not love if you make her`
    - A lot of people, men and women, see their experiences and those of relatives in this song, and there are some truly heart breaking stories in these comments.
    - Shout out to all the women from Asian countries, Arab countries, South America and African nations. A lot of the nations in these parts of the world have mentalities towards women way too close to what the lyrics of this song describe. Stay strong everyone.
    - These stories still happen in first world countries as well. There are plenty of examples of injustice and inequality. Probably enough in this comment section to write a thesis.
    - there are plenty of supportive men in the comments.
    - if you wanna read the comments from the 'mad men' you have to scroll to the very end, that seems to be the quarreling section with long replies. There are indeed a few, but not that many.
    And that's about it. I was curious enough about the replies to spend about an hour of my life reading them. Not everything in the comments is five star, but the song definitely is. The comments here are often times beautiful, interesting, raw, and make for a good social analysis.
    Cheers to all the brave folks here telling their stories. Take good care and keep going!

  • Wei Luo
    Wei Luo Month ago +53

    I love how she started soft and angelic, like the start of a relationship. It's like she's symbolizing an innocent girl. Then when a man starts to show his true colors, he starts to make her do chores, pass his responsibilities to her. At first she apologizes and tries to please him. But at the end, her singing becomes strong as she realizes her worth. Beautiful ❤️

  • Sheydel Rojas
    Sheydel Rojas Month ago +72

    if this song doesn't get nominated for at least a a grammy and also isn't performed at the grammys, I'll start a riot.

  • oompa_loompa
    oompa_loompa 13 days ago +13

    Just so people know: this is NOT BELITTING SACRIFICES MEN HAVE MADE AND CONTINUE TO MAKE. It's just showing how women's work doesn't stop when the day ends, and how we weren't recognized for SO long. Our work wasn't respected like yours....and some argue it still isn't.

  • Julia Micha
    Julia Micha Month ago +43

    There was a time my brother was jobless and he literally waited for us to come from work so that we could do household chores and cook for him. He just sat around all day and couldn't even do utensils. His argument was that he is not a woman. He made me want to scream until my face turned red.

  • Aubryella Otero
    Aubryella Otero 2 months ago +8289

    The part about having a daughter and being afraid that she’ll meet the same fate is a true terror that keeps me up at night

    • Namtellectjoonal
      Namtellectjoonal 2 months ago +300

      yup....one of the reasons I don't want children
      I don't wanna bring a child into this ugly world that will treat them unjustly and then turn around and blame them for not being able to keep up

    • Maca
      Maca 2 months ago +125

      I understand you. I have three daughters and I raise them so that they know how to claim their place in the world, but I will always want to raise a boy in feminism. They need to know that they're born with a privilege we don't have.

    • Anona Weaver
      Anona Weaver 2 months ago +25

      Couldn’t imagine because I was the oldest of 3 girls. Then had 2 boys. Stopped before we did have a girl

    • Desiree Luciano
      Desiree Luciano 2 months ago +13

      I totally understand

    • Aubryella Otero
      Aubryella Otero 2 months ago +79

      The sad part is I have a wonderfully fantastic and amazing man who takes care of me now but…. It took so long. Just to find someone who truly respects me. Been through so much abuse at the hands of men to get me to this point that I really don’t see any woman being able to completely escape the violence her whole life.

  • summer archer
    summer archer 20 days ago +23

    "And weaponise the false incompetence"
    This is such a good tactic pursued by so many men and we sometimes overlook this.
    Such good lyrics.

  • Amal Av
    Amal Av Month ago +65

    I know I shouldn't say this out, but this song brought me to tears. I could see my mother(s), my sister(s), my friends felt throughout. I could play out my life and be the guy. I can relate to the feigned incompetence so well. I've seen everyone doing that but was not aware of it. The sudden realisation hurt me so bad. I see that I'm a product of societies' and the things that happened to me. I can really understand my mother so much. I still cannot explain the emotions and memories it brought up. I think I am a better person now. Thank you for creating this work of art.

  • MonumentToSin
    MonumentToSin Month ago +29

    This song is like an echo all the generations of women that came before us, crying out through the ether.
    "All the women
    in me
    are tired"
    -- Nayyirah Waheed

  • Mentí Rosa
    Mentí Rosa 9 days ago +10

    Congrats on being the Anthem for first born daughters

  • Signe Pladsen
    Signe Pladsen Month ago +22

    “Silence haunts our bedchamber” hit hard. I was in a relationship for years with a man that if I wasn’t in the mood, would refuse to talk to me for days on end, even when he knew it caused me anxiety so bad that I would shake. It was just… easier to let him do what he wanted. To play along as I’m in pain cause I’m not aroused, or just lost in my own head trying to just get it over and done with. Like, I would try to make it as quick as possible, getting him to come, saying I had had an orgasm, so that it was over. If I didnt lie about the orgasm, he would keep going even tho I wanted it to end. It was like a pride thing for him. I just… I am so happy I’m out of it now, but the scars run deep.

    • cagedbird clippedwings
      cagedbird clippedwings 13 days ago +3

      It's sad how many can relate with this. I'm sorry to hear you've endured this nightmare, but it gives so much hope to know that you got out!
      I'm in the midst of creating my own exit, but sometimes these things take time even when it's unbearable. I finally had the courage to address the 10+ years I suffered through so many unwanted acts which never stopped despite my begging, pleading, and physically fighting to get away. He claimed it was all an attempt to "help me work through my psychological barriers" so he was just "doing me a favor".
      I cannot unsee. I cannot unknow. I cannot return to the silent sufferer for his gratification. Of course, that conversation was followed by weeks of his rage and constant verbal, psychological abuse. All the same, my body is mine and I'm finding my exit soon.
      I hope you find healing and peace of mind again. I hope this for all of us surviving and fighting for our right to thrive.

    • Signe Pladsen
      Signe Pladsen 13 days ago +1

      @cagedbird clippedwings I wish you all the best, and I hope to you find your escape quickly. These stories just hits us all hard, but we are living, we are surviving, and hopefully we will be thriving.

    • Maria Andrea
      Maria Andrea 17 hours ago

      I’m sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing it too, we are not taught that unless we really and freely want to, there’s no consent. In Mexico, where I’m from, marital rape was not a crime until 2005.

  • kiara rodriguez
    kiara rodriguez 2 months ago +4237

    The background vocals being children at the end enrages me and breaks my heart. This is a masterpiece. Every little detail is perfect

    • Em
      Em 2 months ago +119

      I didn’t even realize that my god

    • Nonya Business
      Nonya Business 2 months ago +54

      That's my favorite part😭😭

    • Universal Stupidity
      Universal Stupidity 2 months ago +123

      she has apparently said they aren't children, but it's still beautiful

    • Solus
      Solus 2 months ago +48

      I think it's young women, not kids

  • KoOkOoNuT's TrUsFrAtIoN iS mY iNsFiRaTiOn

    Im not a wife. I am not girlfriend. But i still feel the emotions and feelings this song has. And it should be same with everyone. Every woman goes through this. Look at your own mom.

  • Ongaku
    Ongaku 12 days ago +11

    The voice, the music, the lyrics....this song is perfect from start to finish. 8,1 Million views is actually not enough. This song deserves even more views. Even the music video is great!

  • Sylphienne
    Sylphienne 4 days ago +6

    Masterpiece! Her song should have hundreds of millions of views.
    This what I want to happen in my life: To have a family without a man. To be successful, without a man. To have my children carry MY name, To have my future daughters look up to me and show them that they don't need male attention to be fulfilled or happy. To have my future sons respect women and treat them as an EQUAL partner and not someone who will serve them like mothers.
    In a few months, I'll be 26 years old. I'm working on myself, health and manifesting positivity in my life. I'm a virgin and I don't care. I don't feel the need to be in a relationship. I'm starting my own business and soon i will be saving my eggs for the future when I decide the time is right for when I want too have children.
    I am my own boss. I am my own leader. I am deserving to be successful.

  • KrazyCouch2
    KrazyCouch2 20 days ago +5

    Man this song is so powerful.

  • IrishRose.
    IrishRose. Month ago +53

    I feel like this song is so important. It's a letter to the women who have come and gone who lived under the rule of men. Even our mothers and grandmothers. The chanting effect of the chorus is haunting.

  • Ana Ionescu
    Ana Ionescu 2 months ago +2263

    The pomegranate is a symbol of renewal and rebirth in some cultures. The fact that that's the food she reaches for as she rebels against her 'master', and devours it hungrily, tells such a powerful story of aggressive protest against oppressors.

    • Martha Dumptruck
      Martha Dumptruck 2 months ago +163

      The pomegranate is also an established symbol of womanhood- to the Greeks, Gauls, Roma, and in Judaism. It’s been called “the fruit of the womb”. It’s not just renewal/rebirth- she’s claiming her womanhood fully, wholly for herself.

    • i love me
      i love me Month ago +79

      Also, idk if this has any relevance to what she is saying, but in the greek myth, Persephone gets trapped in the underworld because she eats hades pomegranate. She has to stay with him during the winter which is why the trees lose their leaves. SO it could be her reclaiming her womanhood and eating the pomegranate in spite of the man.

    • Hulitchigo
      Hulitchigo Month ago +71

      Its also a very difficult fruit to eat and stay relatively clean even when trying. If you just say screw it and go to town it could be seen as a symbol of everything "unladylike" messy, ungraceful, even savage if you go about it right, but true womanhood can easily include all of these things. Even though we often hide them

    • Rowanfrost
      Rowanfrost Month ago +11

      Stephen King actually uses the pomegranate symbolism in his book Rose Madder.

    • Hayley O
      Hayley O Month ago +26

      Just adding that it's also theorized the fruit Eve eats in Eden is a pomegranate, not an apple. There's a lot of layers to that choice in the video.

  • Detri bli
    Detri bli Month ago +13

    "I know you're a smart man and weaponise the false incompetence--It's dominance under guise."
    This line is so powerful.

  • Anne Fleur Dekker
    Anne Fleur Dekker 29 days ago +15

    As a elderst daughter, this song heals me ❤

  • Elisabeth V
    Elisabeth V Month ago +145

    Men should be thankful we want equality, not revenge..... who am I kidding... Revenge it is.

    • brick kold
      brick kold Month ago +7

      : )

    • Henry Jackson
      Henry Jackson Month ago +3

      Healthy... I don't think taking your frustration out on men for what shitty men or men of previous generations did is a good way to cope. Like, that's actually pretty disturbing and sums up why so many people think feminism isn't about equality anymore. Surely you just want to be equal and coexist without having to get "revenge"

    • meena
      meena Month ago +3


    • tu d
      tu d 25 days ago +12

      ​@Henry Jackson it's a joke Henry she's not about to go out and take away men's rights chill out

    • Mocha
      Mocha 22 days ago

      As a gay male, I agree 😂 I’ve been objectified before and it will probs happen again unfortunately

  • Faye
    Faye Month ago +52

    The pomegranate she rips into is such a great shot, the pomegranate of course is both the symbol of fertility and death... absolute perfection

  • Sosoland
    Sosoland Month ago +45

    I was annoyed with hearing this song used in videos where people just slapped on pictures and Wikipedia facts to seem like they actually cared, but when I watched this and read each lyric, my entire right side had goosebumps. It was as if you wrote this for my mother. I won’t say my dad is an irredeemable person or that I hate him, but he’s been a living prison for my mother. She always tells me to never trust men enough to give your life to them, because they’ll just make you a servant in the end, but I still hold hope. I do want to find a man who will not see me as a labor. If it never happens, I shall have to ask for a companion like that in the next life. I know that women are worth more in the eyes of God than they are in the eyes of men. We don’t suffer unseen.

  • Hee-hoo
    Hee-hoo 2 months ago +9125

    “I know you’re a smart man, and weaponize false incompetence. It’s dominance under a guise” THAT FUCKING LINE AND THE SUBSEQUENT LINES HIT HARD. This whole song is so beautiful and heartbreaking yet at the end so strong

    • RiverCrystal
      RiverCrystal 2 months ago +185

      This is the first time I've heard of weaponized incompetence in a song and I'm here for it.

    • Hee-hoo
      Hee-hoo 2 months ago +96

      @RiverCrystal same, the first time I heard it I felt my brain physically click. There’s finally a phrase for what I’ve been trying to articulate, AND it’s part of a beautiful song???

    • Harvard Psychic
      Harvard Psychic 2 months ago +78

      I think of myself as a well read, self aware feminist. And this song just made me realized how much I give to men and how I never even saw it! I never saw it because I was conditioned to give men so much of myself. I was groomed to it before I knew how to speak, and know I'm not the only one. It's so sad.

    • Kenny🐝
      Kenny🐝 2 months ago +62

      It was a brilliant line. I've started calling out weaponized incompetence from people in my life. I ask them if they are genuinely dumb and can't do it, or if they are playing dumb to make you do it. They go silent real quick and that silence speaks volumes.

    • Fayza Ali
      Fayza Ali 2 months ago +7

      What does it mean by it ? English is not my first language

  • Jen Janet
    Jen Janet 29 days ago +15

    The lyrics in this speak so much to me. The women in my family definitely know this type of invisible pain. I'm really glad there is a song about it, and hopefully these things become more visible.

  • ScarletFox
    ScarletFox 15 days ago +9

    Such a great, powerful song! I’m so glad that Spotify picked it as “you may like”! As a woman who decided against marriage, against children and for a career, I feel for every woman who never got this choice

  • lara angelina
    lara angelina 16 days ago +10

    this video is so simple yet so clever- the way she's lip-synching so subtly as if she can't speak openly and freely; the way the camera's where he's sat facing her like shes speaking to him but she cant and shes not and its so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Varada
    Varada 10 days ago +9

    Since I didn't see many pointing this out, I'm putting it here - at 3:09 we can hear kids singing in the background. I believe that it was meant to show how the kids are also taught to continue this cycle of control on and abuse against, the women in their lives. I love how the symbolisms and deeper meanings in the lyrics, music video and composition of this song is not that hard to find or doesn't require in-depth analysis by an expert (as it should be imo) because the message must reach each and everyone listening and watching this masterpiece.
    Kudos to Paris Paloma and everyone who worked in creating this beautiful song ❤

  • Ke
    Ke 12 days ago +7

    I hope she makes it BIG

  • Y A S H N Y
    Y A S H N Y 2 months ago +4145

    Let's raise our children differently so our daughters don't have to go through this

    • YL
      YL 2 months ago +289

      Sons too, so that they don't feel entitled to such servitude and get used to being treated like little babies by their wives who are not their maids

    • Y A S H N Y
      Y A S H N Y 2 months ago +155

      @YL yes definitely.. I think if we raise children of both genders with domestic skills then neither will feel entitled to be taken care of especially boys

    • YL
      YL 2 months ago +78

      @Y A S H N Y as a mom of a baby boy, I couldn't agree more. I'll definitely show my son how to cook and do chores

    • Y A S H N Y
      Y A S H N Y 2 months ago +42

      ​@YL I'm so glad to hear that from a mother! Your son will grow up to be a wonderful man. I wish you well :)

    • YL
      YL Month ago +19

      @Y A S H N Y thank you, I wish you well too ✨️

  • Sarah Hartley
    Sarah Hartley Month ago +19

    This song goes so fucking hard and makes me so fucking (rightfully) angry!!! Sending ALL MY LOVE to my sisters still stuck in this vicious cycle. Whether it be with a partner, parent, boss, government or societal norms. I hope you all get out and can one day live the lives you want to live, freely ❤

  • Liberato San Jose
    Liberato San Jose Month ago +19

    My grandmother and my whole family have endured abuse exactly like this from my grandfather, even what was (I think) shown in the video, waiting for him to eat before we eat. My grandmother said the most accurate line in this song was, as the silence haunts our bed chamber, because he would never talk through problems with her and mostly use the silent treatment as a weapon. My whole family loves this song, thank you.

  • Asianbeth Beth
    Asianbeth Beth Month ago +22

    Feminine rage. Love listening to this while work. When the chanting of the verses helps me focus and helps keep me be nice to rude customers

  • Persnikity12345
    Persnikity12345 16 days ago +8

    God, this song is good

  • TheBriBoat
    TheBriBoat Month ago +63

    I grew up in a religious Mexican home. The feminine rage I feel from this song is unreal.

  • amber61pop
    amber61pop 2 months ago +4027

    "Apologies from my tongue, and never yours." "If our love died would that be the worst thing? For somebody that I thought was my saviour, you sure make me do a whole lot of labour." I cried, these lyrics hurt so much. Thank you.

    • Harvard Psychic
      Harvard Psychic 2 months ago +44

      That line made me realize so much. I've had relationships with men of influence. I was drawn in under some idea that they would make my life easier and love me. But they almost always drain more from me then they give, and I do mean DRAIN. Looking back, if I had just given them the finger and invested that energy in myself then I would have been better off. Damn, the patriarchial PR system is so huge and insiidious.

    • S
      S Month ago +3


    • Peach🙏🏽
      Peach🙏🏽 28 days ago +4

      @Harvard Psychic Patriarchy isn’t the problem, selfish and inconsiderate men are the problem. I’m currently learning to love myself and God because I put too much energy into selfish men in the past💯

  • Soft Lights
    Soft Lights 21 day ago +7

    Reminds me of my Dad... I won't ever think of him the same way after hearing about the awful way he treated my Mum. If he was any other man, I could just avoid him. But I can't, because he's my Dad.

  • HoLland-a-Saucy
    HoLland-a-Saucy Month ago +11

    I want to show this to my mom, this was her life but she is almost 60yo now and I think it would just hurt her to see it laid out like this... Truly makes me sad when I remember my childhood

  • Catherine Stouffer
    Catherine Stouffer Month ago +18

    I can't help but notice that the entire time she's singing by herself and then she sings a bit about her needing to leave before she brings a daughter into this world with this man and the daughter suffers the same fate and then she sings the chorus one more time and then after that you can hear children singing with her. Can't help but feel that that's a nod to the women who wanted to leave either with their children or before children were brought into the mix and we're not able to.